“I’m going to stop playing ‘Who Shall I Kill First?’ in my head and just go for what’s natural. I think I’ll start with me, then it’s you.”

– Bernard Black, “Black Books”

If you’ve never seen Dylan Moran, Bill Bailey and Tamsin Greig, you need to watch that series above. You can find it on Netflix in both disc and streaming, and elsewhere, I suppose.

Bernard put it best how I’m feeling right now. I wouldn’t advise anyone getting anywhere near me. Not that I’m not a nice guy, but if you come near me, I might decide you smell appetizing and come after you with a knife and fork. And that would be bad for everyone.

To the TL/DR portion of the evening: I’ve lost 6 pounds so far, weighing in tonight at 286.8.

I’d have probably dropped more, but I know I’m not drinking enough juice and water. Fortunately, I discovered today that if I add a couple handfuls of spinach to my Awesome Orange Recipe from yesterday, it still tastes good. This extra green balances out the natural sugars from the rest of it, meaning it’s back to being a good juice rather than a bad juice.

Although words like good and bad have no meaning for me now when applied to juice of any kind. I used to like juice. Maybe, someday, years from now, I’ll be able to again. One can hope.

So I’m going to try having two Awesome Oranges tomorrow, with the added spinach and maybe an extra cucumber (since they’re diuretics and help with the water retention). Maybe this weight loss will speed up. Who knows, I might go for just 30 days instead of the full 60.

Or I could just be delirious from THE COMPLETE LACK OF SOLID FOOD! Sorry, sorry. We now return you to your normal lives.